Building self-control and self-discipline


By Galina Yanchova

People with high self-control are happier than those without. The study discovered this is true because the self-disciplined subjects were more capable of dealing with goal conflicts.

Self-discipline is the ability you have to control and motivate yourself, stay on track and do what is right.

Self-Control is all about the moment and the individual. Self-control is about inhibiting strong impulses; it is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviour in the face of temptations and impulses.

Self-control is the ability to behave sensibly and calmly even when you feel angry, offended or excited.

Feeling more in control of yourself and your actions can lead to feeling more in control of life, feeling more empowered about who you are, and helping boost your feelings of self-esteem.

  •  Recognize impulsive thoughts. – Start by making a list of the behaviours you’d like to control and the situations that often trigger the behaviour. By recognizing the moments when you get the urge to act impulsively, you’ll be more equipped to create a delay between the urge and action.
  • Try belly breathing. – Take the five minutes of breathing to clear your emotions and mind.
  • Find a distraction. – Must be healthy ones. Read a book, knitted, do something handmade…
  • Have a go activity. – Have an activity. – Actively try to replace the behaviour you want to control with a substantive alternative. By giving yourself more time to take the decision, you can make a clearer, more empowered decision.

Regardless of what many may think, self-discipline is a learned behaviour. It requires practice and repetition in your day-to-day life. Success in life comes from the actions you take on a consistent basis — and only self-discipline allows you to do that.


1. Write on paper: your habits and behaviour you want to control. – Remember that you’re only in control of your own behaviour while choosing. Be realistic about what kind of changes you can make that will fit into your life, your time, and your ability. Research the behaviour. Educate yourself as much as you can about how others have built self-control in similar situations.

  1. Take an honest inventory of yourself. – Keep a personal journal, so you individualize your experience in enacting change. Developing awareness about your own emotional triggers that cause impulsivity and lack of self-control will help you recognize the behaviour.
  2. Set realistic goals. – Part of failing with regard to developing self-control is in getting frustrated with yourself for not changing overnight or being able to quit. If you’re building self-control around compulsive eating, for instance, don’t try switching to anything but fruits and vegetables all at once because it’s too dramatic a change…
  3. Remove temptations. – Self-control is often easiest when abiding by the old saying, “out of sight, out of mind.” Removing all temptations and distractions from your environment is a crucial first step when working to improve your self-discipline.joshua-coleman-8V4y-XXT3MQ-unsplash
  4. Eat regularly and healthily. – Hunger makes it difficult to focus on the tasks at hand, not to mention making you grumpy and pessimistic. Eating often regulates your blood sugar levels and improves your decision-making skills and concentration.
  5. Don’t wait for it to “feel right.” – Improving your self-discipline means changing up your normal routine, which can be uncomfortable and awkward. Acknowledge that it will take a while for your new regime to feel right or good or natural, keep changing.
  6. Motivate yourself. – Try to find your inner motivation and journal about it. Maintain clear reasons for yourself why you want to control the behaviour and remind yourself of them continuously.
  7. Mark your progress. – Always remember, the key is progress, not perfection. Keep a calendar specifically dedicated to your efforts.jay-castor-7AcMUSYRZpU-unsplash
  8. Reward yourself. – Rewarding yourself for practising self-control will help reinforce positive behaviours to replace impulsive behaviours. Treat yourself with a fancy massage after a month…
  9. Learn when to seek help. – There are circumstances when a person may need more help than just their willpower.

Here are some suggestions for when to seek professional help and support:

  • If you are struggling with alcohol or other substances
  • If you are engaging in dangerous or addictive sexual behaviours.
  • If you find yourself repeatedly engaged in abusive or dangerous relationships.
  • If you are trying to control your anger, or are raging outbursts, and have hurt yourself or someone else in the process…

11. Forgive yourself and move forward. – Instituting a new way of thinking won’t always go according to plan. You will have ups and downs, fabulous successes, and flat out failures. The key is to keep moving forward. When you have a setback, acknowledge what caused it and move on. It is easy to get wrapped up in guilt, anger, or frustration, but these emotions will not help build improve self-discipline. Instead, forgive yourself, and get back on the track.

If you need help even in small start please consult with me.


Published by Galya

I am passionate, honest, sincere, growing and developing, loving, caring. I am loyal. I am persistent, diligent. I am fun but not perfect :-)

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